Congratulations as you think about marriage!
Please remember that you need to speak to a priest here at least six months before you wish to be married.
What is Marriage?
- It is a public commitment, before God and others that you intend to live lovingly and according to the promises you make.
- It is a gift from God by which we are invited to think more about the love of God.
- For those able to do so, it is the foundation of family life in which children are born and cared for.
- It is a life-long commitment.
- It is a legally binding ceremony.
What are the promises?
- That you don’t know any reason in law why you should not marry.
- That you will take your fiancee to be your husband/wife: to love him/her, comfort him/her, honour and protect him/her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him/her as long as you both shall live.
What are the vows?
I, N., take you, N.,
to be my wife/husband,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part;
according to God’s holy law.
In the presence of God I make this vow.
Music at S. Mary’s
The Director of Music charges £170 to play the organ at S. Mary’s at a Wedding. This includes as returnable “late arrival” deposit of £50. This is explained further in his terms and conditions, which must be signed upon booking.
If the service is going to be video-recorded, it costs an extra £50. If you would like the S. Mary’s Choir to sing there is an extra charge of £50 and you will need to speak the Director of Music about this at least two months before your special day.
Music at the Good Shepherd
There is a piano and if you would like someone to play this, then speak to the priest in advance and he will be able to arrange this.
Here are some suggestions – you can choose others, of course.
A new commandment
- All people that on earth do dwell
- All things bright and beautiful
- Amazing Grace
- Dear Lord and Father of mankind
- Immortal, Invisible, God only-wise
- Lord of all hopefulness
- Love divine
- Morning has broken
- Praise my soul, the King of Heaven
- Lord of all loving
- The Lord’s my Shepherd
Some suggested Bible readings are Genesis 2:18-25; I Corinthians 13; Ephesians 5:20-33 and I John 4:7-12
What happens at the service?
- If you want to have a best man, brides maids &c, then you can.
- If you want to have a rehearsal in Church with family and friends present, please ask the priest.
- Many people like to have a Mass during their wedding. This is great. Please let the priest know. There is no extra charge for this,
- The man and the woman exchange a ring and join hands.
- You will need to ask two people to be your witnesses.
- There will be a Bible reading(s) and prayers.
- You will sign the registers, which are the legal record of your wedding. You will need two witnesses for this, normally one from each family/group of friends.
Before you get married
There are three ways to get married (a – c). Answer the questions in the diagram to see which is for you.
For a Common License, you need to fill in a form with a priest here and then go to see Fr Olubunmi Fagbemi, Vicar of Holy Trinity, Tottenham. His address is Holy Trinity Vicarage, Philip Lane, N15 4GZ and his telephone number is 020 8801 3021. You need to book an appointment before you see him. A License costs £165.
If you need Banns to be read in another Church, you will need to pay that Church a further sum of money.
You will need to meet with the priest officiating at your marriage at least three times before the day to cover these topics:
- Your relationship: how did you meet? how will you nourish each other over the coming years?
- The Church’s teachings on marriage: why is marriage something that you are called to?
- The vows: how are these put into practice?
How much does it cost?
In 2012, the basic marriage service costs £262. The fees are set by the Church of England and are set to increase dramatically in 2013. This does not include music, flowers and other costs you may need to meet in order to get married (banns or licenses).
What happens if I am divorced?
The Church of England lets individual priests decide whether or not the marriage of those whose divorced partners are still living can happen or not in Church. This does not happen here. If you wish to know why, please speak to one of the priests.
If you want to get married and one of you is divorced from a partner who is alive, you could get married in another Church or in a Registry Office. God will still be present.
If you get married in a registry office, you can then have a Service of Thanksgiving here. This could be during a Mass if you wanted.
There is no charge for this service, unless you wanted an organist. Do feel able to make a donation though!